Being friends first is not a prerequisite to a successful relationship
Its me! Hi friends,
Let’s talk about dating.
I think one of the top advice couples give to single people is: “be friends with your spouse first” and then they proceed to make it seem like it is the only means of having a successful relationship. I don’t agree.
But first of all what does that even mean? being friends first. I don’t know if it means to get some guys out of the friend zone or treat your potential significant other as friend and not just a lover. I disagree with the former. But agree with the latter.
I’ve never dated a friend for a few reasons:
- For example, I don’t know how that transition is supposed to occur from strictly friends to lovers
- I like them enough not to put them through a relationship with me (just kidding, I am great. But I usually didn’t want to ruin a friendship)
- The excitement of getting to know one another no longer exists especially if you’ve been friends for a while.
- I think some guys are better as friends than boyfriends (based on their past relationships I know about) I had a guy friend I thought was really cute and really looked out for me, but the moment he would enter into a relationship, he would be unfaithful to the girl. This friends first theory will completely fail in regards to him had I ever gotten into a relationship with him. So sis, Feel free to leave some people in the friends zone. Let them chill there. live there for free, no rent.
More on my friend…
He would always tell me that it was hard for him to be faithful to women and he had trust issues. But if he got with me, he would change? WHAT? maybe in his mind, he believed that but I’ve always thought that there was nothing special about me, and I am not speaking ill of myself. I just mean there is nothing about me that makes me exempt from being cheated on. My point with this story is that, my friendship with this person would have been ruined if I entered a relationship with him because unfaithfulness is something I will not tolerate.
Developing a Friendship
I think it is important to be friends with your partner and you should have things outside of each other that you enjoy when the romantic feelings fade. Like a genuine desire to be around each other, laugh about basic things, enjoy the same the activities or maybe a show or two and really just hang out just because.
Don’t get me wrong if you do drive by around your friend zone and you find a guy worthy to date, by your standards, by all means, get that man out of there quick. You have no time to waste, but don’t let society force you to reach into friend-zone and remove people who simply belong there. Listen, a friendship is similar to a relationship minus the kissing part, the same things you find in a good friendship can be found in a romantic relationship. I’m just saying.
What does being friends-first mean to you? Is it a huge factor for you?