And that’s okay.
Thank You for loving me when I can’t love myself
I have come to realize that I do not NEED self-love. I want to love myself, I am working towards loving myself. But I cannot say that I love myself, and I will tell you why.
Because I am not good at loving myself. I’m not sure how or what to love about myself. I remember someone asking me what are some things I loved about myself and I couldn’t think of anything. I simply couldn’t answer. God has bless me with some great characteristics but I do not love myself based on those things.
Listen, I get the whole self love thing. But for me whether or not I love myself isn’t important. Especially the days when I can’t conjure enough self love. Then what? Create a bath and light a candle? Listen to my sick spotify playlist? For me it’s deeper than that. Although I live for candles. My need to be loved is greater than what I can give myself or what atmosphere I can create for myself.
I’ve sort of had an emotional few weeks and I have been really beating myself up for not loving myself enough. In my mind, if I love myself self fully and enough, I will not be experiencing these things. But that is a lie.
I need a sacrificial love. A love that delivers me even when I go against what I know to be right. A love that doesn’t say I told you so. That really understand me and my ways. I need a love that is bold and not pretentious. A love that never leaves me. I can’t give this kind of love to myself.
But the truth is, I don’t need to worry about developing that kind of love and affection for myself. I already get it so generously from God. So while I work on “loving myself” I can be kind to myself for the days when I don’t know how to do it well and rest in the fact that God loves me deeply.
how do love yourself?