I got ghosted by a
“friend.” actually no air quotes because I thought this person was a friend.
I just want to start off by saying if someone doesn’t want to be in your life, you have to let them go. Life is hard enough dealing family and partners, friendships are the only voluntary relationship where you make the decision of who is around and who isn’t.
When I met this friend I thought we were going to have a really close friendship. I had heard some negative things about this person but this person’s approach to me made me feel like I should get to know them for myself. So I began to do so. Once I got to know this friend I found them to be funny, I found them to be sensitive and if I have to be honest, a bit insecure but open about it. But I think that was what I really liked about this person, I felt the vulnerability that was shown just after a few weeks of relationship was really brave. I struggle with sharing, so I like people who share.
A few weeks into our friendship, this friend began distancing themselves from me. Even prior to that, I just got some vibes I wasn’t really into, but I overlooked it. The first week of the ghosting, I thought maybe this person was going through a hard time and maybe they would let me know eventually. I guess that was an opportunity to inquire if something was wrong but I was going through my own thing. Also, I felt like I was always checking up on this person. Honestly, our friendship felt one sided. I noticed and people around me noticed that this person never invited me anywhere and also this person didn’t know anything about my life. I knew quite a bit about this person and was always inviting this person to do things with me but the same wasn’t done for me. At one point, another mutual friend and I were talking and we concluded that this person wants to hang out very specific people and I simply did not fall in that category.
Anyways, by the second week, I realized I had been ghosted. This person simply didn’t want to be my friend. I realize this person never did anything to show me they wanted me in their life.
I was hurt by the realization but I concluded that someone who doesn’t even try to be a friend isn’t worth my salt. Someone who leaves you hanging with no explanation is not nice and you don’t have to dwell on the hurt they’ve caused. But this is no reason to be mean or rude to them. Still be nice and smile when you see this person. Actually you don’t have to be anything to anyone who has ghosted you.
But for me, because I like this person and know the kind of person this person is, I choose to be nice when I am faced with the opportunity to interact with them.
Lastly, if someone ghost you, it doesn’t make that person a bad person. The person’s action was rude but the person is not a bad person. Just accept the fact that the person doesn’t want to hang out with you and move on with people who want to be in your life.
Have you ever been ghosted?